How can you tell when a politician is lying to you? When his lips move!

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Husband: How long can a man live without brains? Wife: I don't know. How old are you?
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A girl called me & said "Come on over, nobody is home". I went over. Nobody was home.

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Merry Christmas, enjoy new year, happy easter, good luck on valentines, spooky Halloween & happy birthday now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months

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When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!! 

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What do you call a laughing motorcycle.......? a yamahahahahaha....

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I've written a poem for you: twinkle twinkle little star, you should know what you are, and once you know what you are, mental hospital is not too far. 

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What is the height of Flirting?
It's When your love letter starts with: TO whom it May Concern

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If your father is a poor man, it is your fat
but if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

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Playboy has started a special
edition for married men.
The same woman is featured
every month

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Be nice to your children. They choose your nursing home.

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The longest sentence known to man: I do

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A blond calls the fire department and the fireman asks "How do we get there?" The blond says "Hello in the big red truck!"

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Teacher teaching a student algebra A=B and B=C, it means A=C..Sir asked to give example for it..Stdnt said, sir i luv u and u luv ur daughter..it means i luv ur daughter

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Q: What did Bill Gates wife say to him on their wedding night ?
A: Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!

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Who said fill in the blank is very easy? Try this. Fill in the blank with Yes or No. "___, I am not a normal person.

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Message from www.dating.com
Your dating ad has been on the net for eight weeks without a reply.
Do you want us to try for a week without a picture?

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